Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-10-14

I wonder at what point in my comedy career I get to make a deal with the devil. # Any movie that starts in outer space or in a Mongolian bar, is a winner by my standards. #slither # I was eating pecans thinking they were walnuts. "I know all there is to know about the crying game,…" # Tonight
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The space between your car sea…

The space between your car seat and your door is where you hide candy — bad diabetes advice

What do you call a dog in Miam…

What do you call a dog in Miami? #poochie

Sleep with ugly people while y…

Sleep with ugly people while you are young, that way age is just a number. #poochie

I wonder why the NFL replaceme…

I wonder why the NFL replacement referees can’t see my tweets. – #poochie

Bank of America has forgiven m…

Bank of America has forgiven me for almost $300,000. There goes my fucking bit

The playboy bunny starlette be…

The playboy bunny starlette being fired from Growing Pains. #worstmomentintvhistory

Tonight we made history an sen…

Tonight we made history an sent porn into outer space. #spacex

I was eating pecans thinking t…

I was eating pecans thinking they were walnuts. “I know all there is to know about the crying game,…”

Any movie that starts in outer…

Any movie that starts in outer space or in a Mongolian bar, is a winner by my standards. #slither